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          • Nine (9) Ways to Be an Outstanding Parent

          • Parenting is one of the best jobs anyone can do, though it brings many challenges, the rewards are great. Here you will find nine (9) ways that can help you to be an outstanding parent.

             

            1. Set achievable boundaries

            Ensure that you set age-sensitive boundaries. Take for instance a two-year-old child – You cannot expect a toddler to successfully take a bath, get dress, do the dishes, or sit for thirty (30) minutes without moving. This is not to say you should not challenge your child’s capacity, but an awareness of the parameters is the difference between success and frustration.

            Let your child know what you expect of them and enforce these restrictions daily through gentle reminders. Always remember, you are preparing your child for the world. There are rules and regulations everywhere.

             

            2. Make Quality Time for You and Your Child

            Spend time with your child; allowing your child to choose how the time will be spent. If even fifteen (15) minutes of uninterrupted social interaction can make lasting memories with your child. Go with the flow and have fun with your children.

            There is no better way to show your child that you adore them than when you spend time with them in their interest.

             

            3. Be a Great Role Model in your child’s life

            Be the role model your child deserves. Model the right attitude and behaviour you want to be seen in your child. It is likely to be futile to tell your child that smoking is bad when you are a smoker. Remember a child learns more from what you do than what you say.

            The interaction between you and your partner is especially significant. If you are abused or an abuser, it will affect how your child interprets/ understands and /or demonstrates love. Therefore, hug and kiss your partner often in the presence of your child. A good spousal relationship gives the best opportunity your child has to learn about true loving & lasting intimate relationships.

             

            4. Praise your child appropriately

            Offer the right appreciation at the right time. Do not just tell your child every day that he/she is smart. Instead, recognise when your child is being kind and tell him/her, remembering to be specific with your praise. For example, you notice your child taking turns and sharing toys, at the time, you could say, “I like it when you are taking turns and sharing that is being kind.”

            Let your child know how you feel when you notice your child is doing something nice or helpful. It is a great way to boost good behaviour so he/she will be encouraged to repeat this behaviour. Another way to encourage good behaviour is to let your child hear you telling daddy/mommy, a friend, grandma, or anyone really about good behaviour he/she displayed.

             

            5. Address disrespect immediately

            Do not accept disrespectful attitudes or behaviour from your child. Never allow disrespect to just pass you by; address as soon as you notice it. Tell your child firmly that to be disrespectful to you or anyone else is not acceptable. Doing this will help your child learn that he/she needs to practise respectful behaviours.

             

            6. Impart Social Skills

            Teaching your child to make eye contact when communicating, chewing with their mouth closed, knocking a door before entering a room and the various social graces will significantly boost your child’s confidence and will set the crucial foundation for navigating future life.

             

            7. Teach your child to be Grateful

            From as early as possible teach your child/ward to say thank you whenever they receive something. No matter what it is, whether it is small or large, something desirable or undesirable. Always show appreciation. Just to clarify though, the teaching of the child to be grateful is more than a display of social grace, it is to frame in their character the trait of contentment.

            Therefore, discuss with your child also the importance of being grateful – knowing why often encourages compliance. Ensure that you include in this conversation how they feel when someone indicates gratitude to them. Additionally, daily allow your child to say what he/she is grateful for and let them talk about the various individuals who were generous to them.

             

            8. Treat Mealtime as bonding time – even when much eating is not done

            Do not stress too much if you serve a meal repeatedly and your child keeps refusing to eat. Also, if you serve a new dish that you labour over to prepare, and your child does not eat it. Do not fuss!

            To further complicate this conundrum sometimes it is the tenth time of preparing the same meal that a child eventually likes it or the meal they love, suddenly, they hate.

            Just relax, your child/ward will not starve himself to death. Just be patient and creative. Sometimes making the food look attractive, changing the sauce, or playing an eating game is just the trick to get them to eat. Still aim however to keep the meal balanced/nutritious. Aim to have mealtime together as a family as often as possible. Mealtime is a great time for bonding; talk about what happened during the day. This is a great way to unwind.

             

            9. Say I Love You Frequently to your child

            Telling your child/ward “I Love You” and giving a hug are great ways of communicating love. Love each child equally, regardless of their weaknesses. It is crucial to let them know this. A good way to communicate this is by communicating love when failures occur; however often they do. Please note as well that a child will never be overwhelmed by love, they though often are wounded by lack of it.

            In sum, to be an outstanding parent takes time, efforts, patience, love and a commitment to be there for your child/ward no matter what.

             

             

        • 4 Good Parenting Tips- A Challenge to Parents

           

          It is often true that no parent/guardian has all the understanding of how to have joyful well-grounded children, every parent should thrive to discover the ideal parenting plan that can assist them in raising well-behaved children. Parenting skills usually do not come naturally but rather, it is learned daily as you interact with your child and acquire the skill to know how to bring out the best in them. Even seasoned parents may tell you that the ideal parenting tip in many cases is acquired through your involvement with your child. Also, your interaction with different parents can help find out some of the most useful ways of raising your children. The following are some of the best parenting tips that you can use to assist you on your parenting journey to raise well-rounded children. These are:

           

          1. Let Your Child Know You Truly love Them

          This quality should start from the child is in your womb. Research has pointed to the fact that a baby feels the love from inside the womb. When a mother talks, rubs, sings or touches her belly the baby responds. This gives the unborn child a sense of love. Love is a strong force in the world and should never be overlooked. Parents must always make their child/children feel loved to the point that they need to realize that whatever happens, they can always go back home to a loving and caring family who will always be supportive.

          Absolute love is not something that we just feel. It is what the other person feels and that feeling should be shown with no strings attached. That is, your child/children do not have to do anything specific to get or feel your love and attention. You should love your child just as they are, with all their weaknesses and strength.

          A large majority of children struggle with their identity, respect, and self-esteem problems. Hence, not experiencing love from home can have a lasting impact on a child’s life. Therefore, loving your child no matter what will help avoid future issues in your child’s life. Unconditionally loving your child gives a sense of security that your child needs to grow up to be a positive and happy adult.

           

          2. Allow your Child to make Decisions About Somethings they want to do with their life

          When a child is young, you can allow them to start making some decisions such as what they want to wear, the toy they want to play with, which fruit they want etc.

          Parents often try to mould their children based on their preference and not what the child wants. Even though you must direct your child on a good path, it is not advisable that you just don’t attempt to make them into little you. Allow your child to make decisions/think for themselves; they may fail but it is quite OK – some of the best lessons are made by mistakes.

          Additionally, you need to always remember that each child is a special being who has unique gifts, talents, and abilities. As such, you will find that one child likes one thing but the other does not. Your challenge therefore as the parent is to provide different opportunities that will enhance each child’s uniqueness. Now as a parent you will need to encourage your child on whatever path they decide to follow – once it is positive – providing direction along the way as opposed to making choices for them. Let your child grow through the decision-making process.

           

          3. Be the Parent and Not your Child’s Friend

          One of the most popular mistakes a lot of parents/guardians make, primarily as their child/children get older is trying to be their friend. Some tend to want to be adored and treasured by their child/children or be considered as cool or nice parents. Falling into the friend role, rather than the parent role, can yield dire consequences.

          The fast-growing notion that you should become your child’s friend is a farce and therefore should be rejected with alacrity and potency. Do whatever it takes to ensure that your child follows the right path even if this means becoming less favoured by your child.

           

          4. Practice Self-Control

          Parenting sure can bring out the good or bad in you. But, especially as a parent, you need to practice self-control. Do not allow your child/children to get you upset or angry to the point where you lose control. It is no secret; a child can test your patience.

          If at any time you realize that you are angry or upset with your child, go for a walk, talk to a friend, do whatever it takes to calm down. If you have anger issues or for some reason, you feel stressed or depressed, seek professional help. Being constantly angry with your child can cause lasting effects psychologically.

           

          Conclusion

          In sum, parenting is one of the most challenging tasks, but one of the most rewarding ones. As a parent, you are expected to love your child, guide your child to make decisions, be a parent and not your child’s friend, and, most certainly, have self-control. These good parenting tips can prove to be challenging to many but with support and assistance from other seasoned parents and possibly professional personnel especially your child’s guidance counsellor, you can help your child to become an exceptional person.

           

          • Some Good Parenting Advice- A Single Parenting Issue

          • Nurturing a happy, healthy well-rounded child/ward is one of the most inspiring things a parent/guardian can do. While it poses several challenges, it can be one of the most fulfilling things to do. Here you will find some good parenting advice for single parents/guardians.

            You have probably read parenting books or parents gave you advice that you should be spending quality time with your child/children. This is believed to be critical as it could be one of the best ways to help to ensure that they develop healthy and well-adjusted. While this is true, you can find different problems. Sometimes this excellent time may include going to the movies or out eating that merely requires a brief amount of time.

            To add, there are some parenting recommendation which states that you can use the time you spend with your child or children to form a strong bond. They may even explain to you how you can create both quantity and quality time that works for you and your child/children. These are great advice, but every child is different. Yes, most children enjoy spending time with their parents, this may not be their greatest need. You can spend time with your child and yet they do not feel love. Therefore, it is important that you start, from your child is in the womb, to express genuine love.

             

            A Major Issue of Single Parenting

            Firstly, there is the issue of single parenting and the divorce one. Already, this is a challenge for the child as they have to be back and forth with each parent. As such, the problem of spending quality time with your child/children will become an issue.

            Spending quality time is often the prime focus for single parents and divorced ones who only see their children on a limited basis. They will be inclined to attempt to compensate for not being there all the time by doing interesting things like visiting the cruise centre. However, if they are asked about more personal things like how their child is doing in school, they are not completely up to date on such a front. Remember that as soon as you are feeling unhappy over your inability to do something for or with your child and after that try to make it up through some sort of compensatory deed may lead to undesirable outcomes.

            If a parent attempts to overcompensate for their feelings because of guilt, they tend to behave more like a friend rather than a parent. When this happens, it may harm a child’s behaviour. Parenting guidelines point out that this happens because the child will model after the parent who is displaying this behaviour, hence causing them to feel like a victim. This will affect the child’s attitude and behaviour in the long run.

             

            A Major Challenge of the Single Parent who is Growing their Child/Children Alone

            Life is indeed full of stress, a lot of activities, and task to accomplish each day. Being a single parent can be very tough to handle. Single parents who are all alone, have it even more difficult. There is your job, home, bills, etc. plus your child/children to manage alone. It can be really hard to balance everything. Yet many parenting tools emphasize that the value of having the ability to spend that quality time with your child\children is crucial.

            Many parents struggle with time and balancing their life. Very often, this can cause a parent to feel guilty, and as a result of the unfortunate feeling that a parent gets because they will most likely push the child to the back of their minds: they will treat their child/children like a task rather than enjoyment. This they take to mean, as soon as I am finished with this task or chores, I will spend some time together with my child. This will lead to the child becoming a member of a task or chore rather than something you all enjoy doing together.

            It is a nice thing to simply take your child/children out to the movies, dinner, or even Disney World, it should not be a replacement for good parenting that is essential for healthy child development. Some parenting tips do point out that while the pleasure activities are good, additionally you ought always to be there for your child, including the rough times which you will go through.

            Try to be more available to your child/children even during hectic times. So even though you may be growing your child/children alone, make each time spent together memorable and valuable. You do not always need to go out to spend quality time with your child, make it your priority to make time spent together valuable. Get to know your child/children, know what they are passionate about and be supportive, even if it is something that is not your interest.

            Additionally, you can seek out assistance from families, friends, and your child’s school. You do not need to do this parenting thing alone. Ask for help when you need it, or you can get professional help as well. Either way, get help, it will lighten the load of parenting and all the other activities that you will need to accomplish on a daily basis. All the best, we are cheering for you!

      • When Positive Parenting is Hard: 2 Things You Can Do to Keep Up

        Ever had moments when positive parenting seems awfully hard?

        I distinctly remember the early days of the pandemic when the world as we knew it had started shutting down.

        In those days, forget positive parenting... I sometimes found that even simply "adulting" felt difficult!

        We've all more or less gotten used to the "new normal" now. 

        But I bet you have a far higher frequency now than before where simple things seem exceptionally hard.

        What we will be talking about today is for those moments.

         

        I felt like I was failing. It sounded so simple, but it wasn’t easy.

        I read the books and it all made sense.

        I knew positive parenting was the right path for me. This was the parent I wanted to be.

        But in reality, it was hard.

        It was hard to always stay calm and non-reactive.

        It was hard to always connect with empathy.

        It was hard to always hold space when my child had a meltdown.

        If you’ve ever felt like giving up on positive parenting, you are not alone! Keep reading to learn how we can navigate the journey of positive parenting, even when it is hard!

        Benefits of Positive Parenting

        If you are on this journey, you’ve probably read or heard about the amazing benefits of practicing positive parenting. Just a few of these benefits include:

        Amazing, right?

        Although the benefits of positive parenting can help to motivate us on our positive parenting journeys, it does not mean that the path is always an easy one. Being a parent is challenging, to say the least. We want the best for our kids but making that a reality can feel messy and complicated.

        Here are 2 things we can do when positive parenting gets hard and we feel discouraged and are tempted to give up.

        #1 Recognize Personal Triggers

        Our emotions and the triggers to different emotions are closely linked. When we start to feel frustrated or reactive, that is an invitation to pause and notice what trigger may lay underneath those emotions.

        Our perspectives and triggers around parenting often come from our past experiences, our own childhoods, and our current beliefs about what we think parenting should look like.

        A child psychologist once said, “usually in parenting and in life, the best response to upsetting emotions is to reflect, not react. In other words, don’t take action when you’re triggered.”

         

        When getting started with this inner work here are some beautiful steps to try:

        1. Notice when emotions are heightened
        2. Pause, breathe and become aware of any thoughts
        3. Notice the story that’s going on in the mind
        4. Choose a more empowering story, if needed

        When we become aware of these beliefs, we can begin to let go of the beliefs that no longer serve us and can then choose more empowering thoughts. This can help us parent from a place of abundance and love.

        #2 Let Go of Comparison

        It can be easy to compare ourselves to others, especially when it comes to parenting.

        Glancing at the snapshots of others on social media might leave us feeling like we’re not doing enough as a parent.

        It can help to remember that when browsing social media, we are only seeing a small fraction of another person’s life. Instead of using social media as a place to compare ourselves to other parents, we can focus on using it as a space to foster connection and nurture relationships.

        If we find ourselves in the comparison mindset when scrolling through social media, it might be time to take a break.

        Taking an extended break from social media can help us recentre ourselves and allow space to focus on the fact that no one is perfect and that perfection is not the goal in parenting.

        When we choose to get back on social media, we should strive to scroll with mindfulness.

        Next time we meet, we will look at two more! Positive Parenting!